REVIEW: Failure to Launch


Director: Tom Dey


Starring: Sarah Jessica Parker, Mathew McConaughey, Kathy Bates and other people


Plot: oh my god all you have to do is watch the preview! Here: Failure to Launch but if you don't feel like wasting a moment of your life to watch such a pointless minute and a half video, I'll explain it to you now. Mathew's character still lives at home. His parents want him out, so instead of just asking, they hire Sarah Jessica's character to do it instead. Her strategy, make him fall in love with her so that he'll want to move out. Ooooo wow that's catchy! phbbbt. Want me to tell you what happens? I dont have to. You already know, guys.


Critique: Hmmm wow... first off, does anybody think that Sarah Jessica and Mathew look good together? How about, does anybody even LIKE Sarah Jessica or Mathew? Seriously, who "thought up" this movie? SO unorignial. And VERY childish I must say. Perhaps I got it wrong. I thought that this would be a cute little romantic comedy, but what we got here was a ridiculous, immature version of How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days. (Not a bad movie, but cheesy of course.) GASP! Oh my god Mathew was in THAT movie too! HAH! MATHEW! What are you doing?? Get some DIVERSITY in your roles, man! What happened to your Amistad and Contact days? Gosh you were smokin' hot. sigh... such a bummer. Mathew is so cocky. I don't really see him as an ACTOR in these movies because it just seems like he's playing himself in these roles. I only come to that judgement because in the last ten years, he's played nothing else! sheesh... yea I got tired of him in this movie. And petting a dolphin won't change my mind, Matt. (Yes, he pet a dolphin in the movie.)
Miss. Parker, or "Witch Face" as my Aunt says about her, didn't impress me either. I think she's a man. Yes, she has breasts and wears heels... ok whatever I need to see some kind of proof, because I seriously don't think that she is feminine whatsoever. Sorry! I don't mean to sound so awful, but maybe if she boosted her talent skills or chose a different role besides Carrie Bradshaw then.... GASP! She would make a KILLER Peter Pan, wouldn't she?? hahaha that's funny.
Ok, now about the movie specifically. Guys, I'm so TIRED of these cheesy, unoriginal and PREDICTABLE flicks. It just felt so pointless to be watching it, you know that feeling? You know it's not good when you start thinking about everything you need to do tomorrow or how much laundry you COULD be getting done during the film. Bummer. This movie was very childish. Mathew kept getting bitten by small animals, like a chipmunk and a lizard. And it was supposed to be all HILARIOUS or whatever. Maybe to a five year old! Also, the plot was filled with much uneeded information. Like when they included the parents and their problems... who cares!? And how RANDOM! Come on... so disappointing all in all. Cute it a couple places I suppose. Minor jokes here and there, but for the most part, disappointing. PLEASE don't watch this movie, you could be doing so many more things with your life!


Rating: 1/5