REVIEW: Lady In The Water

Director: M. Night Shyamalan


Starring: Paul Giamatti... the only person worth mentioning.


Trailor: Lady


Plot: Don't even ask.


Critique:

Ok fine I'll admit it. It was MY idea to see this movie. I drug my date into it. I feel very ashamed, yes. Why oh why, you ask? I was curious. I wanted to see if it was possible that Shyamalan would be able to create yet another piece of crap and actually have the nerve to call it a "film" and not what it REALLY is... an expensive pile of puke. HAH! There you go that's what I thought of this film. There were at least two "What the hell"s and seven, "huh?"s in the auditorium after the movie ended. Was ANYBODY impressed with this movie? Did anybody (besides the old lady in the back that kept going "ohhhh!") recieve ANY entertainment from it's plot? I want to know who you are because I've heard of a great place where you can have group discussions. Yeah, in the mental institution.


Look, here's the deal. It seems that Night has become just a BIT big-headed. Phbbt... he's thinking he's got to be the only one left with all the creativity and originiality anymore. And since he's recieved all this fame from The Sixth Sense, it's like he thinks he can get away with anything. You know whats sad? He IS getting away with it. I mean I'll admit it, I love Sixth Sense. And DON'T tell me you "knew the twist all along" because we all know you're lying. Anyway, I give him a lot of credit for that, thus I have been giving in to his other movies. So, in my opinion, he DOES have talent. But you know what? It only goes so far. What I mean is, Night will think up a pretty cool, pretty radical idea. Then when he decides to make it into a movie, he'll stretch it, overexaggerate and manipulate it until it's just one big mess. I call it a "puke idea". He pukes his idea out, and people are left confused and feeling dumber than when they first came in. It's a bummer really.


I'm not going to sit here though and bash him and say that he should stop making movies. But I do want to ask that he stops making them into such huge deals. You're not the ONLY director in the world, Shyamalan.


Alright, on to the movie itself. There's really not much I WANT to say about it. It's a fantasy tale about a Lady from the "blue world" that came to an apartment complex because she needed to tell someone something very important, right? But theres a dog made out of grass that wants to eat her up and keep her from getting back to her land. So she gets help from the man who found her, Cleveland Heap (Giamatti), the superintendant of the building. And he rounds people up that fit certain "special" roles such as the Gaurdian, the Healer, the Geographer or whatever, then a great big eagle will come swoop in and take her away. Yay. Got all of that? Can anybody say, nutcase? I tell ya, it was comical to watch the story unravel and not in the good way.


The way Night opened the movie was horrible. He told us the story of the "blue water people" through cartoon animations drawn in chalk. Yeah. I think I chuckled aloud during that scene. I don't even remember anything that was said.


But then Paul Giamatti comes in and I have to tell you, I love this man. HE is talented. He's a great actor and really knows how to engage into his characters. I'm sure others will agree on this one but he was definitley the ONE thing that kept this movie going. All the other actors/actresses were inexperienced and average and I just don't have to care or energy to talk about them. But Giamatti, he really set the tone for the movie. Very serious. But thank God for his humor.


This movie did attempt to be funny. I did do a "haha" in a few parts. But still not enough to make the movie good. The character who only worked out on one side of his body was a neat idea. And I did think Giamatti was cute trying to act as a child to be told the fairytale. But other things like the Korean teenager? Please. Not only was she not funny, she was just plain annoying. And that group of smokers? Nice try. Who are you trying to entertain here Night? Twelve year olds?


There were many characters in this movie... and I don't care about any of them. Thanks for the excellent work of character development there Shyamalan.


Sigh... please don't see this movie unless you really feel like you have to. But if you want to see a really cool movie about a Lady from a "blue land", save yourself the exhaustion of watching yet ANOTHER bad movie, and just watch the Little Mermaid. (heehee!)


Creative? Sure. Original? Why not. But insane and a waste of time? Most definitley.

Rating: 1/5