REVIEW: Titanic II... uhh, I mean Poseidon

Director: Wolfgang Peterson

Starring: Josh Lucas, Kurt Russell, Richard Dreyfuss, Emmy Rossum and some more losers for agreeing to star in this film


Plot: All you need to do is watch the trailor: Poseidon But if you would like the "Stephy" version, read on. *gasp* ... a big crapping wave hits a cruise ship and we watch as a whole bunch of people die except for a small group of people who are trying to find a way out to wait for the rescue team to come and save them. Yea... I bet you're wondering what'll happen, huh? Oh.. I'm sure you already know.


Critique: Hmmm where do I begin? Should I start with the unrealistic graphics? The inaccurate outcomes? Or should I point out the flaws in casting and ridiculous attempts to get the audience to actually CARE about the characters in the plot...? Let's start with my favorite... the actors.
Do you think actors KNOW when the movie they're playing in sucks? Do they realize it's all a big joke? Seriously, when Kurt Russell signed up for Poseidon, was he actually thinking, "This is gonna be good!" If someone asked me to be in a movie with a sinking ship I'd say, "umm... yea, I'm pretty sure the nation is done with the whole sinking boat fad, Wolfgang..." Come on, people. Has it actually happened? Have we really run out of ideas? sigh... well anyway, I think the actors did the best they could with what they were given. Kurt is an on and off thing for me. I love him in one movie, can't stand him the next. LOVED him in Overboard, SkyHigh and Miracle I guess... haven't seen that horse movie with Dakota Fanning yet, but what the heck was he thinking with Backdraft, and... THIS! Kurt... please don't tell me you've lowered yourself to these films from now on.
LOVE Emmy Rossum ever since Phantom of the Opera. Not the greatest actress though, but here's the thing, you can be a bad actor, just as long as you're not ANNOYING. And we got a couple of those in this movie. I didn't even mention their names in the "starring" section up there. They were the kind of actors where you didn't really MIND if they're character died in the movie. eek! I sound awful, but I know YOU know what I'm talking about!
Ok... um... can somebody please tell me who THIS is?

Would NOT mind being rescued by THIS guy. He was the hero of the movie, and pretty much the only reason I decided to continue watching this flick. ("Where's that hottie guy?" "Ooo, look at those eyes..." "Oh god PLEASE don't die!") See, I had to pay attention. I needed to make sure he didn't die, and they're swimming around in water, people. He MAY had to have taken off his shirt, huh?
Ok, I think I'm still reviving from my "dumpage". It's like all of a sudden other men DO exist...Let's hope there's a hottie-poseidon-hero over in the Northwest when I get there, huh? teehee
Alrighty... umm... moving on... so, yea what else is there to say? This movie sucked. It was unrealistic. A RANDOM 700 foot wave hits a cruise ship with absolutely no warning, and all we hear from the captain when he FINALLY notices it about 2 feet from the ship was, "...No." Umm... that's it? No? oooKAY...
There was a definite lack of character introducing. I mean I really honestly did not even CARE about these people. (Oh.. there goes the drunk poker guy... I bet the cook is next...) Extremely cheesy dialogue and the plot was scattered. Was the editor DRUNK? It was as if entire scenes were just chopped off and thrown away, and suddenly someone is getting married or something. And, can anyone say,PREDICTABLE? I knew who was going to die even before the wave hit! Sheesh... I will say though, this movie gave me some good laughs! Of course... I'm not sure it was MEANT to be funny... oh well. Personally, I think they should label the movie as a action-comedy film. Maybe it'll draw in more people or something. Because it was so much fun to make fun of Richard Dreyfuss playing a gay guy and everything, instead of giving this movie a 1, I'll give it a 2. Why not a zero? Well... they tried to make a good action film. They really tried.



Rating: 2/5